(Email response to a man interested in celibacy (no fap) with the intention of developing spiritually.)
Sexual energy is the most powerful energy within the body. It’s creative energy, not limited to simply procreation. It fuels creative genius that can be expressed through art, music and intellectual pursuits. It also allows one to be charismatic, confident, physically strong, and attractive overall. As well, it gives one increased focus and concentration which can be used in spiritual practices.
From puberty onward, the body naturally begins to produce sexual energy for its biological purpose of reproduction. When a certain amount has been produced, a natural inclination to release that energy begins to arise. For males, it is through ejaculation. For females, it is through ovulation.
Admittedly, I am not too confident with the knowledge of the female sexual energy cycles and practices so I will refrain from commenting too much about it. It is my understanding that females experience a similar cycle of energy depletion and renewal in conjunction with their menstrual cycles. I can recommend a book that covers this topic in depth - Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia.
For males, semen requires the body’s most refined nutrients and the most energy to produce. It is the most valuable substance within a male’s body. A male’s body constantly works hard to replenish semen after it has been released.
After a release of semen, a male experiences a significant depletion of energy and is often inclined to rest. This is for two main reasons. Firstly, the body must begin to replenish the semen, which requires immense energy. Secondly, the body becomes relaxed as the biological purpose of procreation has (apparently) been fulfilled with the release.
To make the most efficient use of sexual energy, a male practices retaining the semen within the body and channeling the energy upward to higher chakras where it can be expressed more effectively than simply being released outward at the sacral chakra.
If one is interested in using their sexual energy most efficiently, they must understand basic physics. Energy that is constantly building up must go somewhere. In the case of the body, the sexual energy is either released out of the body or channeled upward into the higher chakras of the body. It does not just disappear.
One must actively and consciously learn to work with the sexual energy within their body and develop control over it. With a certain degree of control, a person is able to feel the energy at the sacral chakra and consciously draw it up the spine, into the head, and then back down into the heart where it can be expressed through some other sort of outlet such as art, work, or spiritual devotion.
There are certain practices and techniques that one can learn to use to consciously feel and channel the energy upward. One technique is called the microcosmic orbit, which I’ve just touched upon. There’s a lot of information about it online if you’re interested in finding out more.
As the energy is channeled upward, sexual frustration is greatly relieved. Sexual frustration is simply the result of a buildup of energy at the sacral chakra. If you give that energy somewhere else to go, either outward or upward, the frustration will be relieved. It’s physics.
The body does not waste semen. It does not have to be released in the same way that urine does. After a certain amount of time, semen can be reabsorbed back into the body where it is recycled and a new batch is then produced. It is not necessary for one to release this fluid on a regular basis. The body is capable of reabsorbing it and reusing that energy to increase one’s vitality and overall well-being.
However, at times the body may produce a lot of sexual energy and if one is not consciously channeling enough of it upwards or releasing it outward, it may result in nocturnal emissions. This is the body’s built-in mechanism to regulate the amount of energy in the body.
So it is not absolutely necessary for one to ejaculate on their own just to regulate the energy within their body. If it is necessary for ejaculation to occur, the body will do so on its own. The body is very intelligent and does not usually need any interference from the ego.
(I’m not a doctor. I’m simply a human being with a basic awareness of the functions of my body. The information I’m sharing is not a substitute for professional medical advice.)
During advanced stages of the spiritual path, especially when Kundalini Shakti begins to transform the body-mind organism, conserving sexual energy is absolutely necessary to ease the process along. The transformation is very taxing on the entire system and to drain sexual energy unnecessarily during this time can put the body under a lot of stress.
As one moves through the various stages of enlightenment, one’s sex drive is likely to fluctuate. At times, there may be no desire for sexual release whatsoever, while at other times there may be a great desire. Hormone levels within the body begin to shift and during these shifts there can be some instability resulting in these extremes.
In general, one can expect to have their sex drive eventually stabilize to a point where it is pleasantly very low or non-existent, pleasantly high but easily mastered with one’s consciousness, or somewhere in the comfortable middle. Everyone is unique and everyone’s experience will be different. As well, nothing about one’s sexual energy and its expression is absolutely fixed.
If one is attempting these sorts of practices, which are known as the transmutation of sexual energy, one can certainly ejaculate on their own if they feel that they just can’t handle the buildup of energy. This is totally okay! Using sexual intercourse or masturbation to relieve oneself is not a sin or crime, nor will it set you back a million years on your path.
One should not put themselves in extremely uncomfortable circumstances, especially when they don’t have full understanding about all of this. The idea is to practice playing with one’s sexual energy with consciousness. Play, explore, and expand.
These practices aren’t meant to be taken up as a strict discipline that restricts one’s freedom. When one attempts to be celibate without proper understanding about the energy within their body, they can begin to develop certain negative behaviours, perversions, and become potentially violent and abusive.
There shouldn’t be any guilt or shame associated with masturbation or sex. These practices I’m sharing do not condemn masturbation or sex. They are just an alternative way to use one’s sexual energy. These practices are meant to increase one’s overall well-being in the long run, not decrease it. This should be understood.
Ideally, one should only give these practices a try if they’re naturally drawn to do so. It should feel right that one should take this approach. One should never take up celibacy just because some outside agency has instructed them to do so. One can only be successful with this if they are inclined to it. This cannot be forced and I recommend that anyone that isn’t interested in this simply ignores it until a later time on their path.
Most importantly, these are practices. To become a master of this takes practice and experience. It’s a journey. So there’s no reason to force oneself to attempt to follow any strict rules, to feel guilty, or regretful if one isn’t consistent, or to expect to obtain perfect mastery from day one.
However, what is necessary with the use of these practices is discernment. One should be able to tell the difference between when they absolutely must ejaculate because they just can’t handle the built up of energy versus when they are actually just longing to satisfy an addiction to orgasm. This requires sincerity and honesty with oneself.
I’m not a master of this. I simply share what I can based on experience, research, and intuition. Sexuality is the most important topic of our biological existence. It has been repressed, ignored, and denied for far too long. If we wish to know ourselves in the deepest sense, then it is only natural that we must explore and understand our own sexuality without feeling guilt or shame about it. It’s where we come from!
If you are interested in further reading and exploration of how to manage your sexual energy, I highly recommend the work of Mantak Chia.
Spiritual awakening can create energetic instability with many challenges, such as depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR), Zen Sickness, Emptiness Sickness, psychosis, mania, insomnia, and more. I share some ways I ground myself to prevent energetic imbalance.