There are so many spiritual teachers and guides out there. How can we be sure that we’re working with the right ones? For someone seeking spiritual guidance, healing, and support from others, it’s absolutely imperative that discernment is cultivated and practiced on an ongoing basis.
We don’t all have the innate ability to simply just know whether a spiritual guide, teacher, or teaching is right for us. When it comes to discerning where a teacher might be on their own path, most cannot just look at a person and say whether they’re spiritually awakened/Self-Realized/enlightened, or not. There’s no halo that suddenly appears over one’s head or anything of that sort.
There’s a lot of material and teachings out there that point towards enlightenment, spiritual awakening, and healing. Some of these teachings contradict each other and some are not meant for everyone. In each moment, the ability to discern between what we’re meant to explore and what we’re meant to leave alone is an invaluable skill on this path.
Here are 9 practical things to consider when sifting through the many resources available to you on your spiritual journey.
1. Vet all teachers and guides.
There are two general approaches to this, both of which should be considered.
Firstly, there’s the logical approach which involves reading a bit about their background, checking out their website, skimming their offerings, and that sort of thing. What’s your initial impression?
Look at the students and followers of the teachers and guides. What’s their demeanor like? What do they say about the teacher? Read their comments online. Do they seem to actually be finding genuine support? Do they give you weird vibes or put pressure on you or others to stick around their community? What do you think about all of this?
Next, there’s the more intuitive approach. How do you feel when you explore the guide and their offerings, either in person, in books, or online? Take a moment, look within, and see what you feel. Maybe you feel some pull or attraction. Or maybe you feel some reluctance or uneasiness. Pay attention to these feelings. They are very important and always valid.
Perhaps you saw the guide in a dream or vision prior to coming across their work. These experiences are not unheard of. They’re good signs, but still, you must use your discernment.
Maybe the teacher’s voice annoys you. Perhaps their language is too flowery or too direct for your liking. If there’s doubt or uneasiness, maybe this isn’t the teacher for you at this time, or ever.
When vetting your teachers and guides, keep in mind that you won’t and don’t necessarily need to resonate with each and every thing they bring forth. You may find their earlier work doesn’t speak to you as much as their latest work does, or vice versa. That’s fine and it’s not a reason to dismiss them entirely.
Overall, if it feels good, right, and safe, maybe it’s worth going a little deeper into their work.
2. Pay attention to whether or not the person that you’re listening to has what you want.
If you’re looking for spiritual awakening, only listen to people that you know are awakened, enlightened, Self-Realized. It seems like common sense, right? But many people overlook this point and end up wasting their time or even worse, falling victim to abusers and manipulators.
The realm of spirituality is vast, but not all of it has to do with spiritual awakening specifically, for instance. There are many spiritual healers, like reiki practitioners for example, that may have nice websites and courses. They may do great work. But that doesn't mean they can support your journey all the way to Self-Realization.
So pay attention to whether what someone is offering is in alignment with what you’re really looking for. Remember to be specific about what your aims and goals are. This point alone will easily allow you to hone in on the right teachers and teachings for you.
You might be asking, if a teacher says they can support me on my journey of Self-Realization, how can I know that they’re telling the truth? It’s a fact that people claim all sorts of things and it’s difficult to prove or disprove what they say. Fortunately, there are a few ways of practicing discernment here.
If the teacher comes from a certain background or tradition, look into their tradition and history. Were they invited to teach by another teacher whom you respect? That’s a good sign, but not always necessary.
One thing you can do is to look for moments or teachings during which the teacher has made themselves vulnerable and real. Have they shown their humanity? Are you able to relate with them? Are they humble enough to admit that though they may have indeed had a very significant spiritual transformation, they’re still not perfect?
Oftentimes, the charlatans are the ones that are extremely self-aggrandizing, arrogant, and unable to admit that they have shortcomings. They may use non-dual terminology to bypass their human flaws, such as saying things like “There is no ‘me’ here to make any mistakes.” Beware of these kinds of teachers and teachings.
Remember that spiritual awakening or Self-Realization is ongoing and there is no final moment of perfection or total completion. The teacher should be willing to acknowledge this. If it seems as if their image is too polished, you can ask them directly about what makes them human.
Remember, the limitations of the human body-mind organism do not go away with Self-Realization or enlightenment. They remain. Nobody should tell you otherwise.
3. The teachings that are appropriate for you at the moment will resonate with you.
You won’t have to force yourself to pay attention or to understand what’s being shared. It will be easy, simple, straightforward.
It will oftentimes seem as if a particular book, recording, or poem was created specifically for you at that moment. It’s a great feeling! When a teaching hits you hard, as if it came directly from Source specifically for you, it lets you know that you’re in exactly the right place.
This is what resonance feels like. Hang around teachers that bring forth messages that resonate with you.
This doesn’t mean that a teaching shouldn’t challenge your beliefs and ideas though. Be willing to sit with teachers that are able to offer you a different perspective and shine a light on your blindspots. This may not always feel good, but in your heart, you will feel the resonance and know that it’s what’s best for your growth.
There are many different people on the planet, and no single guide or teacher is meant to serve them all. Some guides resonate with many people, some with only a few.
There’s nothing wrong with not vibing with a particular teacher or teaching, even though your closest friends might really love them.
4. You shouldn’t have to struggle to understand the ideas or concepts being shared.
You shouldn’t have to force yourself to plow through a book or talk even though you aren’t enjoying it. It shouldn’t be a chore. It shouldn’t require note taking or memorization of concepts and foreign terms. It should be exciting, easy, and smooth.
Depending on where you’re at on your path, certain concepts may not be immediately comprehensible to you. This is okay. The understanding will come at the right time. It just shouldn’t feel like trying to teach yourself calculus.
The spiritual journey, though there are many books and lectures, is not like school work. It shouldn’t feel that way at all. On this path, you take what feels right, leave behind what doesn’t, and move at your own pace.
Please note that a teacher should never berate you, make you feel guilty, or put you down for not understanding a concept or practice. Everyone develops at their own pace and all good teachers and guides know this. As mentioned, a teacher may challenge you, call out your blindspots, or correct you, but they should never insult or ridicule you. A spiritual guide is meant to empower you.
5. If a teacher you respect respects someone else, explore their work and branch out from there in the same way.
This is a hack that I’ve used to navigate my spiritual path over the years. There are certain teachers that I absolutely love, respect, and have benefited greatly from. Often times, if I notice them vouching for another teacher, like praising a new book or dropping their name in a positive light, this tells me that the other teacher must be respectable too.
Essentially, I’m counting on my favourite teachers to do most of the vetting for me. This is also a great way to find awesome new teachers and teachings.
6. Use the teachings that you resonate with as a baseline to measure other teachings.
You’re likely to find one or two teachers that you’ll know in your heart, in your gut, that are genuine, that have what you want, that resonate with you. You’ll benefit from their teachings and see real transformation in your life.
Use their teachings as a sort of standard to compare against other teachings. Look for the similarities between the various ideas. You should find a very consistent, underlying message. It will be something like: ‘All is well. All is consciousness.’
As a bonus tip, with this approach, you will also be able to see the golden nuggets of truth found hidden in plain sight in most organized religions as well too. Though many may overlook it, the notion that ‘all is well and all is consciousness’ runs deep throughout many great traditions. You can enjoy these classic teachings in a new way once you’re able to hone in on this ultimate message.
7. It’s okay to travel with different guides at different times on your journey.
Remember, you may be willing to acknowledge that a particular teacher is genuine without always resonating with their specific approach or style. It’s completely fine! Some teachers tend to focus on particular aspects of the spiritual journey more than others and maybe what they’re offering isn’t right for you at this time on your journey.
For example, some teachers may have a strong emphasis on the importance of a high vibratory diet to support the body so that it may become a superconductor for the Divine.
You might be able to recognize that these teachers are genuine, but you might not be so inclined to explore the benefits of their teachings on diet at the time; until perhaps one day, a year later, when you find yourself sick. Then their teachings about diet may be the only thing that resonates with you and helps you continue ahead on your path.
The point is that there are many teachers with many teachings. Some are meant to help you with every challenge you face on your path. Some are meant to only help you with a few. Everyone’s path is unique in this way.
8. Beware of fear-based sales tactics, unnecessary pressure, and big demands.
Be sure to avoid anyone that forcefully demands your loyalty, membership, belief, money, favours, help recruiting others, or anything like that. It’s okay for teachers to offer things in exchange for money, but they should never use fear, pressure, blame, or guilt to get you to buy in.
In my opinion, their sales pitch should basically be something like, “I’m offering xyz. Here’s what it’s about. It’s pretty awesome. It’s available for sale if you’re interested.” That’s reasonable marketing in this industry, if you ask me.
If their sales pitch (either in public or private) is something like, “You’re really messed up and it’s all your fault, and I am the only one that knows how to help you, so you need to buy xyz from me right away in order to heal.” You need to get away as soon as you can.
Furthermore, understand the signs of abuse and manipulation and be vigilant. A teacher should never try to isolate you from your friends and family. They may encourage you to be willing to leave toxic relationships when you’re ready, but they should never tell you to abandon relationships that you know are good for you, just because your friends and family aren’t willing to also follow them. Any type of scenario along these lines should raise alarms.
I would say that if you aren’t sure about whether or not you might be involved with an abusive or manipulative teacher, it’s best to stay on the safe side and leave. There are tons of great teachers and communities that can support you. There’s no reason to hang around in a place that you’re unsure of.
9. Can the teacher take feedback?
No teacher is beyond human with perfect knowledge and insight. Each spiritual teacher, no matter what they say, has room to grow. A good teacher should be able to accept feedback in an appropriate manner.
They may have a direct means of receiving feedback from their community. Perhaps it is a public discussion, an anonymous message box, via email, and so on. A good teacher should be willing to listen to their community and make changes in their approach where reasonable and necessary, for the benefit of all involved.
Some teachers may have a network of fellow teachers with whom they share and receive feedback as well. It’s very good to know that there are other wise and reasonable people that are able and ready to hold a teacher accountable for their actions and words, should they cross a line.
Personally, I have a mentor. She is a Self-Realized spiritual teacher and healer with whom I consult and receive feedback from. As well, I continue to spend time with the teachers and guides that resonate with me. I meet with them on retreats, online events, and read their books, for example. I am always open to comments and messages from those who engage with my work as well.
If a teacher responds negatively to constructive feedback or is completely closed off to any feedback at all, this should be a sign that they are not the right teacher for you.
At times, a guide is able to consciously or unconsciously create an echo chamber in which most people around them are in total agreement with their message and conduct. A few people might not be in agreement though. But it’s often incredibly difficult to speak up and offer feedback when there are no proper, safe avenues of doing so. Beware of situations like this.
If it feels safe, consider offering the idea of having a means of giving feedback to the teacher or guide. They may have unconsciously overlooked such a thing and will appreciate your suggestion. However, if they are not open to the idea, then that isn’t the right place for you.
Conclusion
Discernment on the spiritual path is so important. It will not only protect you from falling into dangerous situations, it will also lead you to the greatest and most effective teachers that have exactly the guidance and insight that you need to continue ahead on your journey of spiritual transformation.
If you ever find yourself in an abusive situation with a spiritual teacher, guide, or group, please find the courage to speak to someone about your circumstances and get yourself out.
Though there are dangers and pitfalls out there that you must navigate around, don’t let this stop you from exploring all together. The rewards of this path are immeasurable and one of the best parts of this journey is sharing these experiences with guides and fellow travelers.
Trust your gut, your mind, and your heart to lead you down the path in the right direction. Safe travels.
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