On Spiritual Teachers, Gurus, Cult Leaders, and Abuse of Students and Followers

Hi Brent. I wanted to ask what you think about what happens in cults and in spiritual groups when the guru becomes harmful and exploitative of their followers. What do you think causes apparently enlightened people to become so destructive?

There are many stages or levels along the spiritual path. There are degrees of awakening, realization and integration. Though some deny it, this has been acknowledged and documented quite well throughout many traditions.

Even after someone may begin to approach certain awakened, Self-realized or enlightened states of consciousness, this does not mean their work is done.

Unfortunately though, some people do in fact attain a certain degree of realization, feel that there is nowhere further to go, and are then quick to begin teaching, without actually having brought their realization to completion and full integration in a Heart-centered manner.

This can create these types of situations between students and teachers, so-called gurus and disciples, in which people are harmed because the teachers themselves have not been fully healed and transformed. In these cases, the teachers are half-baked, pretending as if they’re not.

With certain degrees of realization, one most definitely becomes very charismatic, radiant, and intuitive, perhaps with high degrees of psychic abilities. They may certainly have a very high level of spiritual awareness and the ability to express and teach it in a manner that many can benefit from.

However, if these traits are in the hands of a person that has not processed their deeper traumas, pain, and outdated ways of operating, there can be problems. 

It is for this reason that traditions have been put in place. Typically, within most traditions, when a fully realized and integrated master sees that a student of theirs is ready to teach and lead others, they will invite them to do so. The master knows that discipline is absolutely essential for any person in a position of power, and so they do not invite undisciplined people to begin teaching, to avoid these problems of abuse. This is only within the traditional approach, however.

Today, anyone can claim to be anyone and there are so many people that are naïve enough to believe them. It’s for this reason that one should most definitely employ discernment when seeking out a teacher, mentor or guru.

I speak somewhat hypocritically because I am in the role of a teacher, indeed with a very high degree of realization, and yet I am also still exploring the process of deeper integration myself. For this reason, I do my best to be very transparent with those that I work with and to know and express my limitations. 

I also have multiple mentors that I am in touch with whom I still seek guidance from, typically on nuance points to do with being in the role of a teacher itself. I am very vigilant in my approach, because I have heard of many cases where very wise teachers have hurt others simply because they were in denial of their issues and undisciplined.

It’s common in many of these kinds of groups, including organized religion, for the main congregation to be viewed as unworthy, as sinners, and as inferior to the leaders or idols. This is a form of emotional abuse in which people are left with low-self esteem, often feeling helpless. And out of fear, they may surrender themselves to whatever authority is perpetuating these false ideas.

Unfortunately, this kind of emotional abuse is so common that it is widely accepted as normal. It is often taboo to even speak against it, because we are typically expected to respect other people’s belief systems, even if those systems are disparaging towards those that believe in them. It’s only in more extreme cases of abuse that we begin to hear about it.

Most often in these cases of abuse, the abuse takes either the form of financial exploitation or it is of a sexual nature. There are some reasons for this.

The most obvious reason is that people that come to spiritual teachers and groups seeking some form of salvation are often extremely vulnerable, desperate, lost and confused.

The fact of the matter is that people that are stable do not seek out spiritual guidance very intensely. It’s always people that are going through a phase of vulnerability that want to join these kinds of groups or follow certain teachers and gurus. When you combine these vulnerable people with a charismatic but unintegrated teacher, abuse is likely to show up.

And if a person isn’t vulnerable now, they will likely be at some point as they process their traumas through spiritual practice. It is the nature of this journey of transformation. And to lead these people, one needs to have a very high degree of compassion and empathy, rather than selfishness. Oftentimes, in these cases involving abuse, the teacher is more selfish than compassionate.

To look deeper, within spirituality, there are often misconstrued ideas around non-attachment and karma. For example, when a teacher has not yet cleared their root chakra of issues surrounding money, they could take this as an opportunity to financially exploit their followers. They can share confused ideas about how giving their money up to the guru is great way to have good karma and a good practice of non-attachment, for instance.

Vulnerable, desperate people may fall into this trap, especially if the teacher is charismatic and convincing. Sometimes, the teacher may not even be consciously lying in order to become wealthy. They may very well believe that sort of nonsense themselves!

At certain advanced levels on the spiritual path, a person is likely to become radiant, vital, attractive and of course, charismatic. They may also have high degrees of sexual energy. If they are in the role of teacher, without proper discipline and discernment, this can lead to sexual abuse of others.

By nature of this work, a teacher can become very emotionally intimate with their students and this intimacy can be interpreted by the teacher, student or both, to be something of a sexual nature, when it really isn’t.

Oftentimes, a student is attracted to the teacher’s embodiment and radiance of Divinity, but not everyone has a high enough level of discernment and discipline to understand this type of attraction. So, it becomes interpreted as merely a sexual or romantic attraction rather than something transcendent. When an unintegrated, half-baked teacher is presented with vulnerable students that may express certain interest in them, without proper discipline, the teacher may find themselves falling into lust and into mistreatment.

It is my view that even consensual sex between a spiritual teacher and a student can be unethical. Most students are not in a position to be sexually intimate with a highly realized person. When meeting with a spiritual teacher, students are likely to be extremely vulnerable, perhaps depressed or even heartbroken. It can be far too easy for a manipulative teacher to take advantage of these kinds of people, even if they were to consent to sexual intimacy. It would be an abuse of authority and influence.

I have had a handful of experiences in which people that I have offered guidance and support have expressed romantic or sexual interest in me, without my invitation. In every case, I have shut it down. It became very clear to me that if I don’t employ discipline, I could easily end up hurting people that are desperate and vulnerable.

I spoke to my mentor about it. She told me not to encourage, invite, or reciprocate any of those kinds of advancements with people that do not meet my standards of whom I would be intimate with. She also told me to have very high standards, which implies that they must not be vulnerable and naïve.

Furthermore, there are in fact certain means of spiritual transmission that involve a sexual connection between a realized person that has the ability of transmission and the aspirant. However, considering the very sensitive nature of this type of relationship, it is of utmost importance that one does not engage in it without proper discernment, understanding, and self-confidence.

A manipulative teacher, whether they have the ability to transmit or not, can offer this type of transmission in the name of spiritual expansion when really they are just giving into lust. I bring this up because it is in fact a reality, that certain people can transmit spiritual realization and awakening via a sexual connection. However, it’s such a sensitive issue that no aspirant should go into it without proper understanding. Besides, there are other ways to receive a transmission anyway. 

This issue of teachers potentially becoming exploitative and destructive has to do with the misunderstanding that once a person has a certain spiritual realization, they no longer have any wounds to heal or deep things to overcome. This isn’t true.

A person can be considered enlightened without being fully healed. If someone that is charismatic and attractive with deep unresolved issues begins to lead a group of vulnerable people, things can definitely go astray.

We’re dealing with the most sensitive of issues here, with real human beings, real feelings, and real lives. It’s important for everyone on the path, both teachers and students, to continuously check in on themselves and to cultivate discernment and discipline,

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