Exploring the Paradox of Ego and Spiritual Awakening
This exploration of the concept of the ego and the process of it being stripped away can be a little paradoxical. I’m going to do my best to be as clear as possible in expressing my ideas.
What Is the Ego?
I’ll begin with a brief definition of the ego:
The ego is the separate sense of self, the little ‘me’, that we each have a concept of inside our heads.
The next major point that I want to share is that the ego is absolutely not something to be demonized. It is not a problem, a fault, a mistake, or something that we need to annihilate once and for all in order to attain the advanced stages of the spiritual process, specifically through the Kundalini transformation.
Self-Realization, or Enlightenment, is not about the total and permanent death of one’s ego.
“The ego is not the enemy — it is a veil. Thin it, and the light of your true nature shines through.” — Brent Spirit
What Is Ego Death?
There is an experience known as ego death. Ego death is a temporary, fleeting occurrence during which there is a total dissolution of one’s sense of separate self-identity.
So today I want to clear all of this up because I know that many misunderstand the spiritual path to be about attaining a permanent state of ego death. This is not true.
How the Ego Develops and Creates Suffering
We typically begin the spiritual journey, sometime in our early teens, at the earliest. By this point, we already have a stabilized ego in operation. We have a sense of identity, a sense of separate self, a little ‘me’ somewhere between our ears.
Through the lens of our ego, we see that we are separate from others, that we have a unique experience, an individual story of the past, and a story of ourselves that we project sometime into the future too.
This seems benign, until we look deeper and find that this sense of separate self is the cause of much suffering.
The story of our ego relies on past pain and trauma to maintain an identity of victimhood.
It relies on past success to maintain a sense of being special.
It projects anxiety into the future, which brings about fear.
It projects desires into the future, under the false belief that once we attain those desires, we will be fulfilled.
All of these patterns cause suffering to some degree.
“A healed ego is not erased, but softened — no longer inflamed, no longer in charge.” — Brent Spirit
The Spiritual Process: Subtraction, Not Addition
Through the spiritual process, we begin to inquire into the validity of the ego and we begin to chip away at it through practices of self-inquiry, service, healing modalities, meditation, and therapy.
This is very important to understand: the spiritual process, whether we are working with Kundalini directly or not, is about subtraction, not addition.
It is about:
Undoing the ego to a point where it no longer causes high degrees of suffering.
Cutting away the layers of who we falsely believed ourselves to be.
Revealing our true divine nature.
However, it is not about the total, complete, and permanent undoing of the ego once and for all. That is unsustainable and impractical for functioning as a healthy human being in society.
Enlightenment as a Destructive Process
Speaking of the spiritual process being about subtraction and not addition, there is a perfect quote by Adyashanti:
“Make no mistake about it ⎯ enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the façade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.”
Enlightenment really is a destructive process. It’s the undoing of the ego. When the Kundalini awakens, it begins to facilitate this destructive process, eventually revealing our true divine nature as one with God, with all that is, which we then must embody.
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Why Permanent Ego Death Is Not the Goal
The total and complete annihilation of the ego is not the aim. That would be like experiencing a permanent ego death. Ego death is a real thing, but it is not meant to be an ongoing sustained experience. It simply cannot be.
What Happens During Ego Death
The illusion of separation falls away.
Oneness of reality is revealed and directly experienced.
Normal functions like speaking, moving, or responding may cease.
One cannot distinguish themselves from objects or others.
It’s profound and beautiful, but it’s not practical for daily life.
As I’ve experienced, ego death brings deep insights, but those insights must be integrated back into ordinary life.
The Ego as a Useful Tool
Even spiritual masters use names and personas. If ego death were permanent, they wouldn’t bother. They know the ego is not who they really are, but they also recognize it as a functional mask — a necessary tool for life in society.
The difference is that a master sees the ego as transparent, no longer mistaken for the True Self.
Thinning the Ego Through Kundalini
The Kundalini process uproots deep conditioning and trauma that form the foundation of the ego.
As this is released, we:
Let go of victimhood, guilt, and inferiority.
See through false beliefs about future attainments bringing happiness.
Allow the ego to become thinner, like a veil, rather than annihilated.
With a thinner ego, we embody both oneness and functionality.
Healing the Inflamed Ego with Self-Love
Matt Kahn describes the ego as inflamed — sore, protruding, needing constant attention. Through healing and self-love, it can be soothed, reduced, and made useful without dominating our lives.
Unconditional self-love means:
Giving ourselves permission to think, feel, and experience without judgment.
Treating the ego gently rather than criticizing or demonizing it.
Allowing it to heal so it no longer drives suffering.
“Enlightenment is not about escaping humanity, but embodying divinity while still living as human.” — Brent Spirit
Beyond Ego: Integration, Not Annihilation
This process is not about attaining ego death.
It is about:
Going beyond ego.
Seeing oneness.
Returning to integrate the ego in a healthy, functional way.
The Kundalini process doesn’t create a “superhuman” — it returns us to our natural state, called sahaja samadhi, a spontaneous absorption in consciousness.
Returning to Our Natural State
As children, our egos were thin. Studies of brain wave patterns show that children live in ongoing meditative states. The Kundalini process is, in many ways, a return to that natural state — but this time with the maturity to live fully, embodying freedom, peace, and oneness as adults.
Key Takeaway
The ego is not the enemy. Ego death is profound, but not sustainable. Through Kundalini awakening, the goal is to thin the ego, not destroy it, allowing us to live as functional humans who embody the wisdom of oneness.
Frequently Asked Questions
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No. The ego is not inherently bad — it is a functional tool that helps us navigate daily life. The spiritual process is about thinning the ego and reducing its grip, not destroying it entirely.
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Ego death is a temporary state where the sense of separation dissolves, revealing oneness. Enlightenment, or Self-Realization, integrates this wisdom into daily life with a thin, functional ego rather than its annihilation.
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Yes, Kundalini can trigger episodes of ego death. However, these are usually temporary experiences meant to bring insights. The larger purpose of Kundalini is to gradually release conditioning and reveal the Divine Self.
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A constant ego-death state would make normal functioning impossible. We wouldn’t respond to names, relate to others, or navigate society. The spiritual path requires integration, embodying oneness while still functioning as a human.
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Practice unconditional self-love. This means allowing thoughts and feelings without judgment, soothing the ego like an inflamed wound, and recognizing it as a helpful tool rather than something to demonize.
Book a 1-1 Session with Brent
If you feel called to explore your awakening more deeply, I’d love to walk beside you. Book a one-on-one session with me and let’s bring clarity, grounding, and guidance to your unique journey.
- Brent Spirit
More Helpful Links
The Truth About Twin Flames & Kundalini Shakti Awakening: My Journey | Part 70
Kundalini Awakening - How Long Does It Take? |Part 21
Kundalini Awakening Signs and Symptoms|7
Kundalini Grounding & Spiritual Emergency Course
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